Lifestyle

“The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.”
?E.E. Cummings

Life is to be enjoyed and appreciated, not endured and tolerated.  Which is why today is a perfect day to stop tolerating…

1.  People who are purposely difficult.

Don’t let anyone’s negativity stop you from being happy.  Negative company will never give you a positive life.  Examine what you tolerate.  Every time you subtract negative from your life, you make room for more positive.  Happiness is found around encouraging, loving people.

Learning to ignore certain people is one of the great paths to inner peace.  Life gets easier when you delete those who make it difficult.

2.  Your attempts to live up to the expectations of others.

Remember, you can’t base your idea of success and happiness on other people’s opinions.  We’re not here to live up to each other’s expectations; we’re here to follow our own intuition and do our best.  When you clear out other people’s expectations, or the classic things you are “supposed” to want, you create the time needed to take steps towards your true destiny.

Bruce Lee once said, “I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.”  Let this be your motto from this day forward.  (Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the “Self-Love” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)

3.  Your own needless negativity.

Stop focusing on how stressed you are and remember how blessed you are.  Complaining won’t change the outcome, but a positive attitude will.  Life is too short to spend at war with yourself.  Practice acceptance and forgiveness.  Don’t let dumb little things break your happiness.

True wealth is the ability to experience and appreciate each moment for what it’s worth.  It is not what happens to you, but how you respond to what happens to you. Count your blessings while others are adding up their troubles.  No matter how bad it hurts now, someday you will look back and realize today’s struggles made you a much stronger person.  So always laugh when you can; it’s the cheapest medicine.  When you smile about the life you live, you end up living a life worth smiling about.

4.  The itch of old wounds from the past.

The first step to living the life you want is leaving the life you don’t want.  Letting go of the past is your first step towards happiness.

You are not your past failures.  You are not your past habits.   You are not how others have at one time treated you.  You are only who you think you are right now in this moment.  You are only what you do right now in this moment.

You are here for a special reason.  Stop being a prisoner of your past.  Become the architect of your present and future.  Learn from your regrets, but do not punish yourself with them.  Live beyond your petty, fleeting fears and focus on the profound possibilities that await your immediate attention.  (Read The Untethered Soul.)

5.  The excuses you keep making for procrastinating.

Today, stop making excuses for why you can’t get it done and start focusing on all the reasons why you must make it happen.  Stop talking about what you have done or what you are going to do.  Just do it and let your actions speak for themselves.  Most great things in life don’t happen by chance, they happen by choice.  You never know what’s possible until you risk finding out.

Remember, it’s always better to look ahead and prepare than to look back and regret.  In the end, there is only one thing that makes your dreams and goals completely impossible to achieve:  Your lack of action.

6.  A “safe” lifestyle void of excitement and passion.

You deserve to be happy.  You deserve to live a life you are excited about.  Don’t let others make you forget that.  Don’t play it so safe that you put yourself in situations where none of your potential options satisfy your calling.

Have you ever tucked something of value in a “safe place” out of fear that you might lose it?  And then one day awoke to the realization that you hid it so well, even YOU can no longer find it?  If so, then you understand the wisdom of leaving your heart and dreams unlocked and open.  To reach for what can be, even when you’re doubtful…  To let go of what is lost, even when it’s painful…  To live as though you’re brave, even when you’re fearful…  These are the trials you face and the choices you must make along the path to happiness and success.

Close your eyes for a moment and ask yourself this:  Isn’t it better to be extremely happy for a while, even if you eventually lose it, than to be just okay for your whole life?  (Read Buddha’s Brain.)

7.  Self-neglect.

The most difficult phase of life is not when no one understands you, it’s when you don’t understand yourself.  It is easy to live for others, and so many people do, but I challenge you to live for yourself and your own values, ideas, and dreams.  Believe in yourself.  Listen to your soul.  Yes, help others, but don’t neglect YOU in the process.  Give yourself the time you deserve.

Live your life so that when you’re old, you never have to let the person you became fantasize about the person you were capable of being.  And someday when it’s time to ask where all the time went, you can answer, “It went to joyful moments of self-discovery, to passionate endeavors, to doing work that felt like play, to standing up for what I believe in, and to exploring this beautiful world with an open heart.  My time went to living MY life!”

Afterthoughts

Needless tolerations can bleed you dry and make it impossible for you to function effectively.  You can’t live a happy, fulfilling life if you’re spending all your energy tolerating things that shouldn’t be tolerated.  It’s time to put your foot down.

Remember, life is change, but growth is optional.  So choose wisely starting now.  Let today be the first day of the rest of your new life…

Your turn…

What would you add to this post?  What sources of stress do you tolerate too often?  Please leave us a comment below and share your thoughts.

Photo by: Striatic

There is only one success – to spend your life in your own way.
– Christopher Morley

This post has moved to HERE:

Where Happiness is Found: The Stories Too Many People Believe for Too Long

Photo by: Sabrina Campagna

You will find that it is necessary to let some things go, simply for the reason that they are heavy.  So let them go… LET GO of them.  Tie no weights to your ankles.

“Yesterday afternoon my twin sister called me from her hospital room.  She’s been in a coma for almost a year now.  Entering the holiday season and New Year with my sister back at my side is a priceless feeling.  We actually spent the entire night together, talking and laughing.  She’s still weak, of course, but surprisingly coherent.”

That’s the opening paragraph to an email I received this morning from a reader named Amber.  It caught my attention for obvious reasons.

Amber then went on to say, “But you know what the really crazy thing is?  A month before my sister’s accident, we got in a ridiculous argument and didn’t speak to each other for that entire month. And today, honestly, neither one of us can even remember why we were so darn mad.  We were just being stubborn and holding on to the wrong thoughts.  I’m so grateful we were able to let it go and get another chance to love each other.”

Wow!  Talk about a wake-up call and a great reminder for all of us to LET IT GO.

And since the New Year is just around the corner, which inspires many of us to refocus our energy and attention on the right things, I think it’s a perfect time right now to start letting go of the wrong things.  Wouldn’t you agree?

So today, I challenge you to this:

Before the New Year…

1. Let go of your temper. – Never do something permanently foolish just because you are temporarily upset.
2. Let go of petty grudges. – Life is far too short to be spent nursing bitterness and registering wrongs.  If there’s someone in your life who deserves another chance, give it to them.  If you need to apologize, do it.  Give your story together a happy, new beginning.
3. Let go of the idea that everyone has it better than you. – If the grass looks greener on the other side…  Stop staring.  Stop comparing.  Stop complaining and START watering the grass you’re standing on.
4. Let go of lingering false beliefs. – Stop from time to time and ask yourself, “Is it true?”  It’s funny how we can sometimes wrap our minds around things and fit them into our version of reality.  But thinking something does not make it true.  Wanting something does not make it real.  So watch your thoughts.  Be wise.  When your identity is not rooted in the truth, it can lead to toxic and lonely places where we seek approval from the wrong things.  (Read Loving What Is.)
5. Let go of expired ideals. – Growth is painful.  Change is painful.  But in the end, nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you do not belong.
6. Let go of yesterday’s tragedies. – You are not what has happened to you; you are what you choose to become in this moment.  Drop the needless burden, take a deep breath and start again.  Ultimately, you will know you are on the right track in life when you become disinterested in looking back, and eager to take the next step.
7. Let go of your tendency to avoid problems. – You cannot change what you refuse to confront.
8. Let go of life’s little annoyances. – Don’t let dumb little things break your happiness.  Frustration and stress come from the way you react, not the way things are.  Adjust your attitude, and the frustration and stress is gone.
9. Let go of assuming other people are more “normal” than you. – The only normal people you know are the ones you don’t know very well.  Period.
10. Let go acting standoffish and unapproachable. – We all need to learn to be more human.  Don’t avoid eye contact.  Don’t hide behind gadgets.  Smile often.  Ask about people’s stories.  Listen.
11. Let go of the idea that some people are below you. – Even if you’ve worked really hard to get to where you are in life, there’s no such thing as a self-made person.  Someone believed, encouraged, and invested in you.  Be grateful and be that someone for others too.  What goes around eventually comes around.  No one has ever made themselves strong in the long run by showing how small someone else is.  So don’t be lazy and make assumptions about people.  Ask about their story.  Then listen.  Be humble.  Be teachable.  Be human.  Be a good neighbor.
12. Let go of the idea that you are what you physically own. – You are an incredible human being who’s entirely detached from what you have physically acquired in this world.  Remember to remain humble.  Ultimately, two things define you more than anything else: Your patience when you have very little, and your attitude when you have more than enough.
13. Let go of wanting stuff you don’t need. – Don’t think of cost.  Think of value.  And remember, it’s always easier to find wealth by needing less, instead of making more and more and more.  (Read The Total Money Makeover.)
14. Let go of seeking happiness from outside yourself. – In life, you have to create your own sunshine.  Happiness starts from within.  So read something positive every morning and do something positive before you go back to sleep.  Keep your focus on all the positive possibilities and opportunities, and you will feel great.  Feel great, and you will do great things.
15. Let go of wanting to be repaid of every good deed you do. – Don’t worry too much about what’s in it for you.  If you’re making a positive contribution to others, there’s always something in it for you.  You were born with the ability to change someone’s life.  Don’t ever waste it.  Be kind.  Be present.  Be someone who makes a difference.
16. Let go of all the little white lies and charades. – How do you build credibility?  It’s not rocket science.  Be honest.  Follow through.  Honor your promises.  Say sorry when you screw up.  Be the type of person you want to meet and spend time with.  Be the type of person whose actions, words and values always agree with each other.
17. Let go of any hypocrisy. – For instance, don’t pray when it rains if you don’t pray when the sun shines.
18. Let go of putting everyone else’s needs in front of your own. – Give as much as you can every day, but don’t allow yourself to be used.  Listen to others closely, but don’t lose your own voice.
19. Let go of fearing what your intuition is telling you to do. – Fear kills more dreams than failure ever will.  So don’t let fear shut you down; let it wake you up.  Do one thing every day that scares you.  The more that you act on your intuition fearlessly, the more your intuition will serve you.  If you genuinely feel something, pay attention.
20. Let go of waiting for the stars to align. – Remember, you don’t always need the perfect plan.  Sometimes you just need to give it a try, let go, and see what happens.  Just do the best you can until you know better.  Once you know better, do better.
21. Let go of the need to get everything done at once. – Keep going.  True purpose has no time limit.  True purpose has no deadline.  Don’t stress and overwhelm yourself.  Just do what you can right now.
22. Let go of the “all or nothing” mentality regarding success. – Appreciate the grey area between the extremes of success and failure – the journey, the process, the path – what you’re learning, how you’re helping others learn too, and the growing process you allow yourself to participate in.  And above all, never let success get to your head or failure get to your heart.
23. Let go of criticizing yourself. – Nobody is inspired by your misery or self-deprecating comments.  If you wish to inspire yourself and others, be joyful.  Have fun.  Love yourself.  Forgive yourself.  Accept yourself.  Be unapologetically YOU.
24. Let go of those who say you aren’t attractive enough. – More women worldwide are suffering from anorexia and bulimia than are fighting breast cancer.  There are similar statistics for men too.  Love yourself the way you are, because you are beautiful just the way you are.
25. Let go of changing just to impress people. – Change because it makes you a better person and leads you to a brighter future.  Change because you know it’s the right thing to do for YOU.
26. Let go of needing everyone to like you. – Everyone doesn’t need to like you, and some people won’t no matter what you do.  Try not to take the things these people say about you personally.  What they think and say is a reflection of them, not you.  (Read The Mastery of Love.)
27. Let go of all negative influences.  Period. – You can’t expect to feel good if you surround yourself with negativity.  Be with those who bring out the best in you, not the stress in you.
28. Let go of thinking that giving up the wrong things (and relationships) means failure. – Giving up and moving on are two very different things.
29. Let go of the idea that it’s too late to start over and get it right. – Remember, it’s always better to be at the bottom of the ladder you want to climb than the top of the one you don’t.
30. Let go of putting things off for one more day. – Stop procrastinating.  Stop wishing for it and start working for it.  Do what you have to do today so you can do what you truly want to do, and be where you truly want to be, tomorrow.

Afterthoughts

Sometimes the hardest part isn’t letting go, but rather learning to start over in certain areas of your life.  This is a challenge all of us face.  If you’re struggling with any of the points above, there is a clear path to the new beginning you seek.  Your present habits are simply broken and need to be mended.  When you trust a broken set of habits every day, it’s only a matter of time before you feel broken too.

It doesn’t have to be this way though.  You can make adjustments starting today that will instantly help you feel better, think more clearly, and live more effectively.  That’s why we wrote our book, “1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.”  It’s filled with short, concise tips on how to do just that.  Check it out.

The floor is yours…

What’s the #1 thing you need to let go of before the New Year?  Leave a comment below and share your thoughts with us.

When you stop doing the wrong things and start doing the right things, almost anything you want and everything you need comes within reach.

Which means it’s time to…

5 Things to Stop Doing

1.  Stop stalling and being lazy.

You can’t build a good reputation or a successful way of life based on what you could do or might do someday.  The quality of your life is in direct proportion to your commitment to get things done, regardless of your chosen path.

So don’t sit there and say, “Somebody should really do something about that someday.”  Be that somebody, and make today the day.  Read Eat That Frog!

2.  Stop neglecting your self-control.

Nobody ever wrote down a plan to be broke, lazy, out of shape, uneducated, etc.  These things happen when you lose your self-control.

Showing a lack of self-control is in the same vein granting authority to others: “Perhaps I need someone else to help control me.”  And if you’re lucky enough to have good friends and family, they might try.  But the truth is no one is going to look out for you every second.  No one is going to follow you around and say, “Don’t buy that, get off the couch, take a jog, go to the library, etc.”

You, and YOU ALONE, must make the choice between what is right and what is easy in your life.

3.  Stop looking outside yourself.

The problem is that when you think you have to LOOK for things in life like love, meaning, and inspiration, the LOOKING implies that these things are somehow hiding behind some bushes somewhere, just waiting to be discovered.  But that’s not the case.

In life you have to CREATE your own love, define your own meaning, and harbor your own inspiration.  This process starts on the inside, not somewhere else.  Much of this can be accomplished simply by staying true to your values, pursuing your passions, learning more today than you knew yesterday, and helping others smile as you go.

4.  Stop letting negative people drain you.

You might think being alone makes you lonely, but that’s not entirely true.  Being surrounded by the wrong people is the loneliest place in the world.

Before you diagnose yourself as an unhappy person, first be sure that you are not simply surrounded by negative people constantly trying to bring you down to their level.  Read Emotional Vampires.

5.  Stop belittling your efforts and your progress.

Appreciate where you are now and keep fighting for where you want to be tomorrow.  You are not a failure until you give up on yourself.  Keep going!

Hard times may hold you down for awhile but they will not last forever, and when all is said and done, you will be able to stand even taller than those who didn’t earn it.

Seriously, you may not be where you want to be yet, but look how far you’ve come.  Be thankful that you’re not where you used to be.  If you have no other testimony right now, you have this one: “I’m still here trying.”

5 Things to Start Doing

1.  Start living.

Don’t simply exist in this world, grab life’s full potential by the horns and ride it out.  Dare life to be all it can be.  Make it a memorable, gripping account of accomplishment.  Make it a thrilling, challenging, bold adventure.  Make life a passionate, enduring, poetic romance.

Whatever it is you decide to do with your life, LIVE it!  Get going!  Move forward, aim high, plan your takeoff.  Don’t just sit on the runway.  Adjust your attitude and gain some altitude.  Read 1,000 Little Things.

2.  Start taking chances that feel right.

Life will try to break you sometimes; nothing and no one can completely protect you from it.  Remaining alone in your comfort zone won’t either, for endless, stagnant solitude will also break you with yearning.

You’re human.  You have to love.  You have to feel.  You have to strive.  You are here to risk your heart by putting it into something you believe in.  If you avoid taking these chances, one thing is certain, you will make is safely to death someday, feeling empty and unfulfilled.

3.  Start indulging in meaningful challenges.

What a true blessing it is that there is always work to be done.  Because the real value of any accomplishment is not in the end result, it is in the process of accomplishment.

Success is a state of mind, and the most reliable way to reach that state is by working mindfully through a meaningful challenge.  Such a challenge might seem somewhat overwhelming when you first encounter it, yet as you progress through it, you transform the work from overwhelming to fulfilling.  Read The 4-Hour Workweek.

4.  Start nurturing your real family.

Family is built with love; it’s not determined by marriage certificates, divorce papers, and formal adoption documents.  Families grow from the heart, through mutual love and respect.  The only time family becomes nullified is when the ties in the heart are cut.  If you cut the ties, these people are not your family.  If you build the ties, these people are your family.  So build ties with the right people and nurture them with love.

5.  Start making time for YOU.

There is objective time meant for focused work, but also subjective time where the pulse of your life breathes – your relationships, your awareness, your hobbies, etc.

So find the time – the time to read, to smell the flowers, to take a walk in the wilderness, to share a laugh, to learn a fun craft, to try a new recipe, to explore somewhere new, to really be with someone you love, to paint your dreams, or even to just do nothing and relax for a while.

Find time for YOU.

Photo by: Trey Ratcliff

When life gets stressful and you feel like you’re losing your emotional balance, use one or more of these simple tricks to help you relax your mind and re-center yourself in an instant.

1. Wash your hands and face, and brush your teeth. – The simple act of cleaning these parts of your body is both reinvigorating and relaxing, and gives you that ‘fresh start’ feeling.
2. Change your socks for refreshment. – It’s an odd trick, but it works.  Bring a change of socks to work, and change your socks midway through the day.  You’ll be amazed at how much fresher you’ll feel.  This trick is especially handy on days with lots of walking.
3. Call a close friend. – Sometimes a quick conversation with someone you care about is just what you need to boost your mood.
4. Stretch. – When you feel yourself getting stressed, get up, reach toward the sky, bend down and touch your toes, twist your torso from side to side – stretch it out.
5. Go outdoors. – Getting some fresh air outdoors is always a good way to rouse your senses and clear your mind.
6. Take a light exercise break. – Do a few sets of jumping jacks to get your blood moving, or take a walk.  Even the slightest bit of exercise can reduce momentary stress and re-energize your mind.  (Read The 4-Hour Body.)
7. Dress to feel your best. – When we know we are looking our best, we naturally feel better.
8. Listen to your favorite music. – If it’s not too much of a distraction, listening to your favorite upbeat music can be a great way to boost your spirits.
9. Watch or read something that inspires you. – Sometimes all you need is a little pep talk.  Watch a motivational video or read something that inspires you.
10. Have a good laugh. – Watch a funny video clip or read your favorite comic strip.  A good chuckle will stimulate your mind, giving you a renewed sense of optimism.
11. Take a few really deep, controlled breaths. – Deep breathing helps reduce stress, a source of fatigue, and increases the level of oxygen in the blood.  Techniques can be as simple as inhaling for five seconds, holding your breath for four seconds and exhaling for four seconds.  You can also try more elaborate techniques which require different positions
12. Clear your stuffed nose. – If allergies have your sinuses blocked, you may be feeling more tired and cranky.  Rinse your nasal passages with saline solution.
13. Cook a tasty meal. – Even if you are by yourself, preparing a tasty dinner, setting the table, and treating yourself to a wonderful culinary experience will lift your spirits.  Sharing it with someone you love or respect will make it even more nurturing.
14. Walk away from energy vampires. – Energy vampires are people who always have something to complain about, or a problem that needs to be fixed, and they’ll drain your energy by making you listen to them about their problems or by giving them attention.
15. Complete an important piece of unfinished business. – Today is a perfect day to finish what you started.  Few feelings are more satisfying than the one you get after an old burden has been lifted off of your shoulders.  (Read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.)
16. Work on something that’s meaningful to you. – Engage yourself in a meaningful personal project.  Or pull the trigger on doing something you’ve wanted to do for a long time, but haven’t yet had the resolve to do.
17. Assist someone in need. – In life, you get what you put in.  When you make a positive impact in someone else’s life, you also make a positive impact in your own life.  Do something that’s greater than you, something that helps someone else to be happy or to suffer less.  I promise, it will be an extremely rewarding experience.
18. Think about your latest (or greatest) success. – Think about it for at least sixty seconds.  Taking in your success as often as possible will help you reach it again and again.  Quite simply, it reminds you that if you’ve done it before, you can do it again.
19. Act like today is already an awesome day. – Do so, and it will be.  Research shows that although we think that we act because of the way we feel, in fact, we often feel because of the way we act.  A great attitude always leads to great experiences.
20. Notice what’s right. – Everything that happens in life is neither good nor bad.  It just depends on your perspective.  And no matter how it turns out, it always ends up just the way it should.  Either you succeed or you learn something.  So stay positive, appreciate the pleasant outcomes, and learn from the rest.  (Read How Full Is Your Bucket?)
21. Take a moment to acknowledge how far you’ve come. – Look around you, remember that you started with nothing, and know that everything you see, you created. We can all lose our feelings of self-worth, especially when something goes wrong in our world. The truth is that if you have done it before, you can do it again, no matter what.

Finding simple ways to give yourself an emotional boost when you feel like you’re stuck in a rut is a vital skill to master.  It’s a timeless practice that truly happy, productive people use on a regular basis.

What do you do to make yourself feel better when life gets you down?

Photo by: J.T. Noriega